Ass-backward is considered a vulgar term in most settings, which makes it unsuitable for academic, professional, or respectful communication. If you want to express the same idea but in a more appropriate language, you might consider using synonyms such as backwards, inverted, reversed, inside-out, contrary, perversely, paradoxically, or illogically. Other alternative phrases that convey similar notions include topsy-turvy, wrong way around, upside down, backwards and forwards, contrary to reason, or in opposition to common sense. These words and phrases allow you to articulate your point of view without offending or alienating your audience, showing respect for everyone's dignity and intelligence.