"Am top heap" refers to being at the peak or the highest level of achievement. Some antonyms for this phrase could be "at the bottom of the pile," "struggling," "underachievement," or "floundering." These antonyms suggest a lack of success or progress, a sense of being stuck or overwhelmed. Instead of being on top of the heap, one might feel like they are being buried under the weight of their responsibilities or goals. By acknowledging these opposite states, we can better understand and appreciate the value of achieving our goals and rising to the top of our fields.